dating

I look back on Caleb and I meeting, dating, and eventually getting married. I remember avoiding all lounge wear and pajamas for months and months because Caleb would always pop by my apartment without warning and I didn't want to look undone. I remember curling my hair exactly the same way for our first like 7 dates because he casually mentioned that my hair looked nice weeks before. I also remember our first date after we got married and how grown up I felt going to dinner with my husband. Weird! Weird! Weird!

For a while, we kind of got into a date slump and we've been making a better effort to keep that same kind of special anticipation for date night. It's something that we look forward to, plan throughout the week, and try really really hard not to break for our social calendars. Our best recipe for a date is: simple + new + relaxing.

This week we tried a new indian restaurant that turned out to be amazing! You always have this trepidation about restaurants that look semi-empty when you walk in and seem a little too excited to seat you. Soooo good!

We also decided to explore Stanford during sunset and play a little frisbee in some random courtyard. Right outside the main quad is a cast of my favorite sculpture, The Burghers of Calais, by Rodin.

^ To the girl in green: nailed it.

^when you think that your self-timer already went off and you did a High School Musical jumping shot for nothing

pizza + joy

Caleb is out of town this weekend to start looking for apartments in Palo Alto. I feel like this is a huge test for a my inner control-freak that would like to spend 20 minutes analyzing the carpet texture of every apartment. But seriously-the ultimate trust exercise. Meanwhile, I've been sitting on the couch downing a bread basket that my Mom gave me and watching too much Netflix.

Which brings me to why I've been on the couch for the past two days downing bread and watching too much Netflix. On Tuesday we had our embryo transfer and it went smoother and faster (?) than I thought it would. The BEST thing about all this was the two days of rest that I was required to spend in bed. No work. No school. The WORST thing in the world are those answer pages where who knows what and their dog answer questions that random people post on the internet. Like Yahoo and Google answers-that has been the most terrifying source of guidance through all of this. You've got people on there saying they lost arms and legs and conceived frogs and when you don't know any better it freaks you out! Proof here.
Anyways.
The transfer was painless and less dramatic than I expected. The following nerve racking couple of weeks will probably be the worst part. Yay babies!
See a couple of pictures of our very awkward picnic that might have included 2 pizzas for 2 people. What....we like variety.....? We tried like 10 selfies with our picnic blanket so we could send the photo to Caleb's grandmother (who made the blanket) and failed miserably.

current happenings

I think the guy at the candy counter for the Nickel Arcade is starting to recognize me. 6 fruties, 5 jolly ranchers-no greens please. This place must satisfy our need to gamble or something because we always feel a rush walking out. I secretly think I'd be the best BINGO grandma. 

Caleb had a house show with his band last week. I kind of feel like the groupie that has no idea what's going on but is at every show enthusiastically. I noticed that I kind of stick out my second time going and even tried to "urban" up my look. Flaming disaster. I tried a beanie on in the mirror for 15 minutes before realizing it just wasn't going to happen and people are going to have to deal with my mom jeans and non-flannel button-ups. Momma Paige is not a hipster and I'm loud and proud!

P.S. Mom jeans are still awesome and don't get cold knees because of stylish rips

Progress

I think I've written about 3 different posts about everything that is going on and our current adventures. However, as soon as I sit down something happens that completely changes my feelings and makes my writing feel 100 years out-dated. In recent Barton news...

We finally had our IVF retrieval and the roller coaster of emotions that go along with it. I was at first nervous, relieved, a bit mad at myself, and then totally at peace with what will happen. Caleb get's the brunt of everything with many text messages and even more emojis. I feel like one of the greatest lessons that I've had to learn from all of this is to let go of my crazy need for control. There are just some things that I can't dictate or demand of myself (or anyone else for that matter) so I need to relax and enjoy the ride. That doesn't mean I won't stop freaking out, it just means that I've realized closure and peace are somewhere along the way. It's okay. Breath.

We took some couple-time during the week (so rare!) to get a treat and go to the BYU MOA. Nostalgia hit me hard! There was an exhibit on BYU and Provo architecture that made me realize that we live in a special place with a lot of ugly special buildings. I'll miss it!

I got some much needed girl time with my Mom this weekend. In the middle of a freak out after our retrieval, she swooped me up from work and we went to lunch and shopping. I don't think she realizes how much that meant to me! I wish I could insert a photo of me with a "Heart MOM" tattoo but I'm not that good at photoshop...and that's 100% cheesy-factor.
P.S. Salmon salad at 6th & Pine is yummy! Skip the apple pie for dessert, its only worth it if Ruby Snap is closed.

Grandma Kendrick's 80th birthday was this weekend so we spent that night up in Ogden. She is so cute and I love seeing Caleb's family dynamics. It cracks me up. Farr's Fresh (from the bit that I tasted) is also a suitable choice when skipping the apple pie (if you can take the drive).

He obviously can't wait to show me off...

Quality Time

Our weekend didn't go quite according to plan as we had hoped. Our time with Caleb's family was great and I couldn't be more thrilled with my brother-in-law's plans to serve a 2-year mission in Atlanta for our church. Yay! After a few days of fun with them we set our eyes on a yert that my sister had rented in mountains. I was so looking forward to getting away and making some memories in Utah. I can't believe we will leave our home away from home in just a short few months! After a number of happenings, we decided that it would be best to stay home. At the time I was bummed, but now I don't regret it one bit.
Caleb and I took a couple of hours to ourselves and had the most romantic/casual/stuff your face brunch as anyone could. I'm starting to realize that it's little moments like these that make me so happy and make all the little other things that don't go right feel so much better!

Sundance has the yummiest pancakes + omelettes. I feel like I've finally tricked Caleb into sharing/splitting dishes with me and eating at restaurants just got 100% better

On another note, giving myself injections and shots for IVF are hard and make me get real anxious! It's like a giant mind game with myself that lasts for about a half and hour. One side of me is saying "just do it already!" while the other is "stop, that thing is pointy, get it away!" I kind of feel like I'm in Parent Trap with Lindsay Lohan and I don't know whether piercing my ears to meet my long-lost parent is worth it. Tell me you got that long reference...

Kayaking Texas

I can't believe that we only have one and a half weeks left here in Texas. Everyone at church has been coming up to us and asking when we are leaving and if we are coming back. The ward has been great here, but I think they really like when people come and are here to stay because there aren't a ton of active members. We are really going to miss some people that we've met and realized that we've learned a lot from those we didn't expect while being here.

This past weekend we ate, ate, and ate-or so it seemed to me because I'm trying to eat no sugar. I made a deal with myself that if I didn't eat sugar during the week, that I could load up all I wanted on the weekend. I was almost (kind of not really) 100% so I rewarded myself fully!

We went to an amazing place called Just Burgers in Spring and ate our hearts out! Seriously, if anyone is in this part of Texas and wants an amazing burger and fries, go here! They are huge, delicious, and will probably stop your heart from beating right there- but are so worth it! I got a California Burger (like a BLT + avocado on a burger) and Caleb got this huge Chubbs burger that had double patties, cheese, and a whole lot of things that I just don't want to admit to. I took one bite and it was WOW! Sadly, we will not go back again to protect our waistlines, but have been dreaming of it ever since Friday night. hmmmmm…..the cravings are starting again just thinking of it!

One Saturday we went kayaking in the Woodlands which turned out to be one of my most favorite things we've done in Texas. The weather was perfect! Overcast and cool. We went fast enough that we were able to paddle into this private neighborhood and gawk at all of the river-front houses (they charge  you by the hour for the kayaks). I. Loved. These. Houses. The backyards were amazing and each house had a boat to cruz around the lake and river. I can only imagine how nice it would be to sit there laying out when it was sunnier.

Later that night we went to have dessert with friends at their apartment. We were the babies of the group being married only 8 months versus 6 years for the others. In Provo we are considered older than a ton of other married couples!

Astros Ball Game

Today I'm leaving for California for my best friends wedding (fingers crossed that the Texas storms don't hit). I'm excited to go home and be around my friends, family, and all that sunshine, but it will also be the first time I'll "be alone" since being married. 5 days is a long time! That's almost a week! I'm sure when I get home Caleb will have figured out about 20 new things to do with Mac n Cheese since that seems to be his staple. I'm looking forward to it.
Last night we went to an Astro v. Braves game in Houston and it was honestly so refreshing! I'm used to going to Angel games and it took me back to summer nights in Anaheim. The indoor stadium was structurally a wonder and I loved not being rained on/freezing/sweating in humidity/every other weather that Texas brings. Date nights on Wednesday are kind of a great idea!

We were cracking up at this little boy who would scream the Texas song at the top of his lungs. He soon started screaming tunes and chants and that's when I realized that although we would have serious hearing damage-I want a kid just like that!

Finals Week and Easter

This has probably been one of the most relaxed weeks I've had of all my college career. Usually finals are crazy! I had basically all class presentations so we got to do a lot of fun Spring things together and enjoy the time we have left in Provo before we leave for California and Houston for the summer.

 Caleb's mom sent us the cutest picnic basket! Salt + Pepper included! 

 Spontaneous bowling (we lead a crazy life I know) on Saturday night

 Can I get a Hallelujah-Amen for this ham tonight? 

Because of Him I get to enjoy a future with my family!

#becauseofhim